Magic Inside You

Dear Aunt Denise,

It’s been just over a month since you passed away. Sometimes I catch myself "forgetting" that you are gone though...I know, that seems so stupid.

I never thought that when I eventually get married, you wouldn’t be part of that day. I always knew that you would be there to calm my nerves and make me laugh through the tears that I will inevitably be shedding. Plus, you would most likely have found the most wonderful necklace or pair of earrings that would have been perfect for me.

I was so looking forward to seeing you with my children. You have magic inside of you. I really don’t know how else to explain what you are so able to express through your eyes, words, laugh and world famous hugs! Every day spent with you growing up was like summer vacation...and every kid knows how valuable summer vacation is! You never got tired of playing, you never made me feel like a child and you never ran out of fun! I pictured you with my own children and was so excited for the aunt they would be lucky enough to share with me.

I told mom the other day how sad I was for all the things that you aren’t going to be a part of, and she reminded me to think of all the things you were there to share with us. We always had so much anticipation for how you wrapped our gifts at Christmas! All the summers we spent in Yosemite, you never said no to hiking or swimming...no matter how cold the water in the river was.

I wish now I had taken you up on all the invitations you extended to stay with you in SF and that I had found a way to spend this past Christmas with the family. I knew that it could potentially be the last, but I’m not sure if I really believed that it would be.

You’re the most honest person I’ve ever known. Not only because you tell the truth, but because you have no reservations about telling people like it is. I’m having a hard time figuring some stuff out right now and I wish I could ask for your opinion. I may not necessarily like what you have to tell me, but I would know that it’s the truth and it’s coming from your heart.

There’s someone that I wish you could meet, but unfortunately the timing just didn’t work out right. I got really lucky this time around and I’m sad that you can’t tell me what you think.

More than anything, I want to be loved the way you were. A huge part of that was the result of all the love you gave. You knew what was truly important in life and it had nothing to do with possessions. Granted you knew a lot of the right people, but it was the experiences with those people that made up your life. It’s funny how you never shared with me who your neighbors in NYC were when you and Jim were sharing that apartment. But that’s because they were just people to you. Who they became was essentially irrelevant. That’s just the life you lived.

I was fortunate enough to call you my aunt. You were my mom’s baby sister. But I got so much more than just an amazing family member out of your presence in my life. I hope everyone has the opportunity to know someone like you at some point in their life...if even just for a day. I was lucky enough to get you for 31 years. My life has been blessed more each day that you were a part of it. And you didn’t even do anything special, you were just you. Thank you for all your love.

Anne-Marie